Silence is not necessarily golden

It has been strangely quiet in a certain way around our house for the past 2 weeks. No, Cindy and I are still together and Landon has not gone to live with Grandmother. There is still enough noise coming from those two sources but the strange silence has been from me.

The doctor told me on Aug 2 that if I wanted to be able to sing anymore that I would have to basically, SHUT UP for at least the next 3 months! It seems that I have developed nodules on my vocal chords that if left untreated will turn into polyps which will then have to be surgically removed or cause permanent damage. (Permanent Damage - that would be a good name for a rock band - think about it)

Anyway, here's the kicker - not only am I not supposed to talk, but I for sure cannot sing, yell, scream, cough, clear my throat, sneeze and especially whisper. I thought about calling Chick Spina up and asking him to teach me his method of talking with his hands. He's got it down!

It is really comical - I go into a restaurant or place of business and lean in close and tell them in an extremely quiet voice that I am not supposed to be talking but that I need so and so. In virtually every case they start whispering. I even had one guy start yelling. I told him that I couldn't talk but that my hearing was just fine. Sometimes I will pull out my PDA and write them a note on it telling them what I want. It never fails to draw a response - usually laughter. But hey - if it works....

It reminds me of when, several years ago, I broke my leg at SilverWheel Roller Rink. I had to wear a cast on it for about 8 weeks. During that time I used the old standard wooden crutches to get around. Being in radio sales at the time I had to do quite a bit of driving to many businesses. Everywhere I went people saw the crutches and were unbelievably willing to help me by opening doors, making chairs ready, carrying my briefcase and so forth. One day at church an elderly lady who had been experiencing hip problems told me that she had a pair of the type of crutches that hook onto your wrists and that she would loan to me if I wanted to use them. She said her wrist crutches would save me the pain from the under-the-arm type of crutches that I was using at the time. I jumped on that idea and immediately put them to use.

The very next day I began to experience something I was totally NOT expecting. People shunned me! They wouldn't make eye contact, they wouldn't open any door, pull out a chair - nothing. I immediately began to feel isolated. I went to eat at a restaurant in Dallas - same response, until I sat down and hid the wrist type crutches under the table, then everything was fine. I pulled them back out to leave - same type of distancing response - from everyone! It dawned on me what had been occurring. These crutches I was using were the same kind that permanently disabled people use - people with polio and other seriously degenerative diseases. Whenever people saw the wrist crutches they thought that I was disabled - permanently, and evidently didn't know what to do with that or intentionally shunned me. As soon as I hid them from sight - back to normal. I realized that what I was experiencing is what millions of partially and fully disabled people all around us go through every single day of their lives.

I went straight home, put the wrist crutches in the closet, pulled out the old wooden crutches, pain and all, and went back to work the next day. Guess what - here came the open doors again and all the other percs I was getting from having a broken leg. I guess people saw the wooden crutches as a temporary ailment and the other type of crutch as permanent and their responses to me sprang from their perceptions.

That little experience taught me a valuable life lesson - to always treat someone with a disability with the same respect and attention I would give anyone else who is whole and well - not less and not more. You never know how your response and reaction just might make somebody's life - for the good, or for the bad.